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The Latest Jokes - Page 87
My lawn is so emo it cuts itself
A skeleton walks into a bar. He says to the bartender "Gimme a beer and a mop".
why didnt the skelaton cross the road? becuase it had no guts.
You might be a Redneck if..
Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
knock knock. who's there? juno. juno who? juno who I am, open the door
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin looks over to the other and says,"Man, it's hot in here." The other muffin says,"AAHHH! A talking muffin!"
An antique-store owner is carrying a grandfather clock out the front door to display on the sidewalk. A drunk hobo comes along and bumps into him making him drop the clock on the sidewalk. The store owner yells, "Hey! Why don't you look where you're going?!" The drunk replies, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everyone else!"
My lawn is so emo it cuts itself
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
Customer: The food smells funny. Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing?
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers. "Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers. They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer. "Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers. When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 83.6937% The joke's popularity is: 4.045
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