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The Latest Jokes - Page 90
An old couple are spending the night at a hotel for their aniversery. The old man decides he's going to get up and go get breakfast in bed for his wife. He asks what she wants and she replies "2 fried eggs bacon toast and strawberry jam." She tells him he better write it down because his memory isn't what it used to be.
He responds that he can remember a simple breakfast order.
A little while later he comes back carrying a trey that has waffles, sausage and Scrambled eggs.
"I told you you'd forget what I wanted" scofed the woman. I said pancakes, not waffles!
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled"
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Shepherd, sheepdog, go into town, told sheepdog to count the sheep. Shepherd comes back, asks how many sheep. "40", says the sheepdog. "40!" exclaims the shepherd, "I thought we only bought 36!".
"Ah," says the sheepdog, "but I rounded them up for you as well."
you're momma's so fat, when somebody says it's chilly outside she grabs a bowl and spoon and runs!
roses are red, violets are blue, some poems ryhme, this one doesn't.
I tried to get a job as a beer taster once, but in the end, I bottled it.
what do you get when ou cross 50 cent and an italian?
Spaghetto!
How do we know that God wanted us to eat animals? Because they're made of meat!
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!" The man asks the kids what he is dressed up like for Halloween. The kid replies, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you. Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 70.3557% The joke's popularity is: 4.403
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