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The Latest Jokes - Page 95
Chuck Norris and Steven Seagul walked into a bar. The bar exploded because it could not contain such a high level of awesomeness.
Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed.
"Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk, and then somewhere between here and my house, I was abducted by an alien?"
Everyone is shocked. "I heard about this kind of thing happening!" Bills says. "What did the alien do to you?"
"I don't remeber all the details," Ted says. "All I remember is being anally probed by the alien."
Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that!" Steve says. "What did the alien look like?"
Ted responds, "Carl."
A girl on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" answered a cuckoo doesn't make it's own nest from a friends help and wins a million dollars. She asks that friend how she got the answer. She says everyone knows a cuckoo lives in a clock.
why did the pirate see the movie? because it was rated 'arrr'!!
tu connais la blague de la voiture? oh elle est déja passée
A little boy asks his father, "Dad is God a man or a woman?" His father replies, "both." He then asks if God is black or white, to which the father replies both.... Then the little boy says, "Daddy is God, Michael Jackson>"
where does a vampire accosionaly go?
A blood bank!
your momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side
I walked into a bar and clothsed-lined myself.
so there was this couple that was having a baby. when they got to the hospital the doctor told them that they had developed a machine that would give some of the pain to the father of the child, so the couple agreed to go with it. at first they went with 10% of the pain but the husband said he didn't feel anything so they turned it up and he still didn't feel anything so they kept turning it up until eventually 100% of the pain was transferred to the father. So they delivered a happy healthy baby and they went home and the mailman was dead on their porch.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address: A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!! Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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