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The Latest Jokes - Page 96
This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
your mom is so clumsy she tripped on a cordless phone
How do you know when a blonde uses a computer?
there's white out on the screen.
Kid: Hey, guess what? I went poopy!
Google: *Laughs*
Adult: No son, don't say stuff like that.
What do female ghosts have on their chests? Boo-bies
a skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop.
knock, knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in because its cold out here
i get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have there shoes.
whats black and white and red all over?
A zebra that's blushing!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A man sat next to an attractive blonde in a bar and kept glancing at his watch. "Is your date running late?" She asked. He shook his head. "This watch is very hi-tech, and it's telling me your not wearing any panties." The blonde laughed. "It must be broken, because I am wearing panties." The man groaned and poked the watches face. "Damn thing must be an hour fast." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 60.5405% The joke's popularity is: 4.267
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