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The Latest Jokes - Page 98
Why did the chicken cross the road? To die alone in the rain (think Farewell to Arms)
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in
Washington. The bride is concerned, and asks, "What if
the place is still bugged?"
The groom says, "I'll look for a bug." He looks behind
the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally,
he says, "AHA!" Under the rug was a disc with four
screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the
screws, throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the
newlyweds, "How was your room? How was the service?
How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these
questions?"
The hotel manager says, "Well, the couple in the room
UNDER you complained that the chandelier fell on
them."
What is Irish and sits around the pool? Pati'O Furniture
A mama, papa, and baby tomato were walking down the street. The baby was falling behind and mama and papa were getting irritated. So papa walked back to the baby tomato and squished it and "Ketchup!"
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Husband 1.0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2.4, GirlsNight 3.5 and CocktailNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
During installation, Husband 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such as MotherInLaw 5.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features she'd like to see in the upcoming Husband 2.0 include:
1. A "Yes I'll cook, clean etc." button.
2. An install shield feature that allows Husband 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
I myself decided to avoid the headache associated with Husband 1.0 by sticking with BoyFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install BoyFriend 2.0 on top of BoyFriend 1.0; each program begins damaging the other. You must uninstall BoyFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now! To make matters worse, the uninstall program for BoyFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing--all versions of BoyFriend 1.0 continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Husband 1.0.
Bug Warning
Husband 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Lover 1.1 before uninstalling Husband 1.0, Husband 1.0 will delete MS Clothing allowance files, before doing the uninstall himself.
More applications that won't run with Husband 1.0 include Chippendale 2.0, Netballwatching 3.5, Suremoreshoes 6.0, and Cleanup 4.3.
Applications that run very well with Husband 1.0, however, include Bummingaround 1.0, Pubnight 2.3, Golfing 2.7, Pokernight 5.3, and Wanderingeyes 4.9.
How doe's a teddy bear start a race?
ready, teddy, go.
Two muffins are in the oven. One muffin says to the other "pretty hot in here isnt it?" The other muffin says "holy mackeral! a talking muffin!"
Never try to out stubborn a cat.
why couldn't the pirate see the movie. Because it was rated R
The Hip Online Psychotherapy Magazine. Nothing Dull Here!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 37.3385% The joke's popularity is: 4.889
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