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The Latest Jokes - Page 5
Blonde Year In Review
A Blonde's Year in Review
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.
March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.
May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet.
June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.
September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?
October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!
December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.
why did the mushroom go to the party? because he was a fungi!
So a man walks into a bar and he says "ouch!"
Then the bartender asks him why he said ouch.
He replies "oh sorry, wrong joke."
Why was the math book upset?
Because it had many problems
You dont have to be faster than the bear, just faster than the slowest guy running from the bear!
two muffins are sitting in an oven, one says, man its hot in here, and the other replies, OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!
Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spider.
yo mama so fat, she jumped up and got stuck
knock knock? who's there? boo! boo who? why are you crying?
there was a dog named joke, he died and joke ended
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Legal Laughs The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide.. 1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child? < 2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning? 3. Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me." Q: Did he kill you? 4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? 5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? 6. Were you alone or by yourself? 7. How long have you been a French Canadian? 8. Do you have any children or anything of that kind? 9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? 10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in? 11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? 12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I'll be three months on November 8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time? 13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide? 14. So you were gone until you returned? 15. Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls? 16. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? 17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? 18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet. 19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question." 20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy! Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 82.2485% The joke's popularity is: 4.228
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